Vegan Wishbones
“Get Your Lucky Break”
November 2023 UPDATE: The House was sad to learn that Lucky Break wishbones are no longer available for sale through the Lucky Break website. The House reached out to Ken Ahroni regarding the status of the operation, but has not received a response. Apologies to readers who are looking for faux wishbones and cannot find them.
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Have you ever found yourself in a position where you want to break a wishbone so you can make a wish, but you don’t want to go through the ordeal of roasting a whole turkey?
Maybe it’s just a random Friday in April and Thanksgiving is the furthest thing from your mind, but you still want a chance to “get your lucky break”. Well, dear readers, do not despair! There is a company that makes artificial wish bones for this exact purpose!
Ken Ahroni, the Founder of Lucky Break Wishbone, explains what led him to invent this ingenious product:
“Why, at traditional Thanksgiving meals, served all across the country, when there is a bounty of food, is there but one lonely wishbone?”
“The feasts throughout the land would soon be over. The wishbone would be left on the windowsill to dry and then one day, unceremoniously, without the presence of most of the dinner guests on that festive night, wishbones would be challenged. There had to be a better way!”
“And so, I invented Lucky Break Wishbones for the masses so everybody, including vegetarians, have a chance to make a wish — with grandma AND grandpa AND mom AND dad AND friends, etc. etc. on Thanksgiving and every day throughout the year!”
The House wishes this tale had a happy ending, dear readers, but it seems that the market for artificial wishbones is a cutthroat place where only the strongest survive. After perfecting his product, Mr. Ahroni was approached by a potential customer (the now-bankrupt Sears) about purchasing a large order of wishbones to distribute as part of a Thanksgiving promotion. You can see where this going, right? Instead of placing an order, Sears knocked off the plastic wishbone. Mr. Ahroni sued Sears and won. But the whole experience may have been too much for the inventor to take. The House contacted Mr. Ahroni about the status of his wishbone-making operation but has not heard back.
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Read more about the origins of the custom of breaking a wishbone here.